Invader Zim: Some More Doom
by Kaaps N. Senugat
Summary: Here is my Invader Zim fanfic, if you want to know anything else you're going to have to read it
1. Foreword

**Invader Zim: Some More Doom  
**

**A/N: **This fanfiction is constructed out of unfinished episodes as well as ones that I hath written, other characters created by Mr. Vasquez will also be appearing, mostly Squee getting dragged into saving the world by Dib. As such, here is a guide to the origins of the episodes:

"Normal Font title" I own nothing! These are copyrighted by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon. I have simply altered the transcripts into a more prose like format.

"_Italic Font title" _ these episodes were thought of by Mr. Vasquez but never made it passed the idea stage due to the unfortunate crenelation of IZ…I have provided the spoken mumblings of the characters.

"**Bold Font title" **The ideas behind these episodes are MINE! ALL MIIIINNNNEEE! Invader Zim still belongs to Almighty Tallest Vasquez.

So without further adieu…


	2. Those!

_THOSE!_

We open upon a jungle scene; we see numerous shots of ferns, trees, more trees, and a couple suspiciously human shaped carnivorous plants. Then we descend into the brush where we come upon the site of many ants scurrying around to a demented version of the music that always seems to play when ants appear in cartoons. The scene shifts to them scurrying about in a lane lined by other ants, meanwhile a Steve Erwin type voice explains that occasionally army ants just get up and move to a different area in this manner.

Next we shift to a view of the class, most student's faces are either bored to the point of drooling or a mix of 'aw that's cute' and 'I wish I had a magnifying glass'. For some odd reason the students begin to become nervous and we shift back to the video.

We a greeted with the sight of a locust type bug being torn limb from limb by the ants, and then we see them do the same to a scorpion, then a spider. By this point the class has become mildly uncomfortable with all the dismemberment the ants seem capable of. This unease is only magnified when the video shows a rat being reduced to bones by the swarm. Several kids scream when the same fate is applied to a parrot.

Thankfully this is when these horrific images end, and are replaced by more peaceful images of the ants. The voice goes on to explain just how dangerous army ants can be to just about anything alive. Then, the camera man begins to panic for some reason. He screams in pain, throws the camera about for a bit before tossing it to the ground and running. When he gets in front of the camera we see a human-shaped swarm of ants that promptly collapses into a pile of bones. The movie then ends, the lights come on, and most of the class is hiding beneath their desks.

"As you can see class" the demonic old hag of a teacher started as she turned the lights back on. "These tiny creatures are much more organized than humans and will most likely rise up and conquer the world when humanity least expects it" the doom obsessed teacher explained to the terrified class. Meanwhile in a chair in the in the far right of the front row a kid with a skin condition perks up from his previous bored state and begins listening. "They're just one example of how organized nature is compared to our pathetic, weak society…now get out of my sight" the creature points at the door moments before the end of school bell rang.

"What are you planning Zim? Huh?" the familiar big-headed boy demands as he shoves his head uncomfortably close to the aliens face. "Foolish Dib-stink! I plan nothing but a day of fun with my adorable dog" Zim says as he packs up some of the few school supplies he actually keeps with him. "Yeah that doggy is adorable!" another student shouts. "Stop being so crazy Dib!" a second student exclaims. "I saw that dog at a rave last night, it was awesome" a particularly chubby student comments as he leaves the room,Thus leaving a sad Dib alone in the room with no one except Ms. Bitters, who begins to menace Dib until he leaves.

The next thing we see is a giant ant farm. The little insects have already carved out a series of tunnels in whatever the stuff is that they use in those things. We zoom in on a few ants in particular and find that these ants are actually cyborgs; they've got laser targeting eyes and drill bits and circular saws on the ends of some of their limbs which they are using to dig. At this moment a floating platform comes in between the farm and the camera and Zim is standing on it, and from our view point we can see that the ants are unnaturally large, about the size of a shoe.

Zim is scribbling down some random notes; he glances a few times at the ant in front of him before pressing a button. One of Dib's spy cameras appears in front of the ant and we shift to the ants perspective. It scans the camera for a few moments before identifying it as metal, at which point it leaps forward and devours the camera, growing slightly as it finishes its meal. Zim scribbles some more notes before pressing another button; this time a piece of Irken tech appears before the critter. As it goes to eat the piece Zim presses another button resulting in the ant being electrocuted.

"Awww why'd the hungry ant get zapped?" asked GIR who appears to be making another batch of waffles. "Because GIR, it needs to know that eating its masters stuff is not good" he explained as he scribbled some more notes down. "Soon the hyumans shall bow before me and my army of eh…ants!" the big ham declares before laughing maniacally.

THE NEXT DAY

It's a typical day at recess kids are running around playing games throwing balls back and forth, all except for a few of them. "I'm telling you Gaz, he was planning something, you just needed to see the look on his face" Dib ranted to his scary little sister, who was playing a video game, as usual. "Dib stop talking, you're distracting me" the odd little girl demanded of her large headed sibling. But Dib was not listening; he was too busy stalking the green skinned fellow. Dib was in the middle of watching Zim from behind a garbage can when a scream from the jungle gym.

Looking over, Dib sees that the entire gym has collapsed. "Huh, must have rusted out" a teacher muses while holding up a piece of metal that has clearly been chewed on. "Oh well, hall monitors take the hurt kids to the nurse's office" the teacher motions to some large muscular kids towards some kids trapped in the rubble. As the hall monitors begin roughly pulling the injured out Dib looks at the metal bits all of which have also been chewed on, he then looks over toward Zim who has a devious look on his face.

"Excuse me! Mr. Elliot!" Dib exclaims as he runs up to his sister's teacher. "I don't think it was rust that collapsed that, I mean look at this piece, it's been chewed on" he argues while holding up a bit of the jungle gym. "Don't be silly, of course that thing fell apart because of rust, it was ancient, now be safe and don't go near the rubble" the teacher says while taking the bit away from Dib. At this moment a scream echoes across the playground and everyone runs over to where they heard it coming from.

When they get to the location of the scream they find some random girl lying on the ground near the nibbled on remains of a bicycle. Mr. Elliot runs up to the small girl and picks her up, "hey! What happened!?" the panicked teacher asks of the traumatized girl. "Those! Those!" is all the girl can manage to say as she points off to one end of the playground. However the only things that were visible at that end of the yard was some half-dead grass and a couple ant hills. As the recess monitor drags the kid away Dib looks around for Zim, but cannot find him.

feeling suspicious, he goes over and looks at the ant hills, there he finds that instead of normal ant hills the openings on these ones are slightly larger than his shoes. Then some large cyborg ants leap out of the hole and latch on to him and begin to drag him down into the depths of the earth. Of course he tries to scream and all the kids just ignore him and whisper about him being crazy and stuff. The camera follows Dib down and occasionally the ants can be seen passing Dib off to some more ants each set slightly larger than the last, the last pair are about twice the size of Dib and these drop him onto a metal floor.

"So Dib how do you like my little army, hmmm?" Zim Triumphantly demands from his Voot Cruiser which is wired into a pedestal lined with bluish-white goo filled pods that contain some developing ants. "That is your plan? An army of cyborg ants? What can they do?" Dib Taunts , before noticing the ant casually chewing on part of the floor. "Hey! Stop that! Hey! Are you listening!?" Zim demands, when he goes unheeded he presses a button that zaps the ant. The monstrous insect screeches and flies backward, once it is back on its feet it looks at Zim and the button and then leaps up onto the voot and begins chewing on it.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing!?" Zim kicks it in the face a couple times before reaching for the button only to find that the ant has already eaten it. He uses his PAK legs to launch it off the cruiser and begins the launch sequence. "GIR! Return to your master!" he shouts to the SIR unit who is watching the angry monkey show on a random screen. "OKEE DOKEE!" he screeches before jumping into the voot and it then takes off. The Voot takes off slamming into the roof, some ants take this opportunity to latch onto the voot and begin trying to eat it. Zim panics and sends the ship flying through layer after layer of dirt; eventually the ship impacts a solid wall throwing all the occupants off, seeing that the ants are dazed Zim runs off dragging GIR with him.

Back in the main chamber the ants are going completely insane, devouring most of the base before turning to Dib. "Um, I'm going to go now" Dib mildly says before running of down some random tunnel. He runs and runs and runs, turning down random side tunnels and always doing a 180 every time he encounters more ants. Eventually he begins seeing smaller and smaller ants and then he finds one of the numerous entrances and forces his gargantuan head through it. The scene he comes upon is chaos; parts of the playground have caved in leaving the children trapped on several large pillars of earth. "I hope they didn't get into the city" the boy ponders before running of in some direction.

IN THE CITY PARK

"Great, Tenna hooked me up with a man-child" The purple haired woman mutters under her breath as she follows a guy who is hopping from bench to bench and occasionally swings from a tree branch. "Hey come on! This is fun! Hey!" the overly hyper active man exclaims as he leaps from a bench and does a flip. "Wow, look at that ant hill!" the guy shouts as he points to the ant hill off screen. "Do you have A.D.D.?" Devi asks as she follows him to the hill. "Yeah, why do you ask?" he asks as he whips out a magnifying glass. "No reason" Devi responds exasperatingly as he goes about frying ants. "gwwaaaahhhh!" the guys scream startles Devi and she looks over to find a group of Chihuahua sized cyborg ants dragging her date into the earth. She stares, startled, at the opening in the ground, but then the ants reemerge and begin to come after her, at which point she runs off to hide inside her apartment.

BACK IN THE SCHOOLYARD

Dib has been hoping from dirt pillar to dirt pillar for quite a while when he finally reaches some intact earth. He then looks back and finds some giant ants dragging the school children into the ground. "Gaz! Gaz! Are you seeing this!" Dib begins searches for his evil sibling in the destroyed yard. "Shut up Dib I'm in the zone" the child says as she mashes the buttons on her game slave 2. "But Gaz! The ants Look at them! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" the paranormal investigator screams as a pair of ants approaches the siblings. They walk up close to the pair and emit some angry chattering noise that distracts Gaz enough that she looks up at the pair. The ants startle and back off, giving each other a look of "It's not worth it" before going after Dib and dragging him away.

DEEP UNDERGROUND

"I want tacos" GIR demands as he and Zim wander through the ants tunnels, trying not to get caught. "I don't have any tacos GIR, and be quite you don't want to alert all of the ants in the hive" Zim whispers to his defective robot minion. "WE DON'T!?" the robot screeches his response while having some sort of seizure. A bunch of ants then emerge from around the corners of the tunnels and begin chasing Zim and GIR through the labyrinth that is the ants nest. As the pair turns a corner a large ant jumps in front of them and swallows GIR whole, Zim immediately does a 180 and runs in the opposite direction. Right into a hallway filled with ants, using his PAK legs to maneuver around the insects he barely manages to avoid becoming snack food.

Dib chuckles as he watches Zim run through the crowded hall way in a panicked manner, temporarily forgetting his own predicament. The ants have created some sort of cocoon out of regurgitated metal and his current captor his holding him in its jaws. It carries him into an immense room with a dirt pillar in the center, on this pillar there is an ant, much larger than the others it directs Dib's ant to attach him to the wall and it does. There are a bunch of other schoolchildren attached to the walls all are completely terrified and all attempting to wriggle out of their cocoons. Dib also begins to try to escape, but his squirming has no effect.

Suddenly, a few soldiers sneak into the cavern and duck behind some of the metallic stalactites remaining quiet until an explosion from some other cavern draws most of the ants away. "Don't worry kids we are here to get you out" one of the soldiers says as the others begin using some sort of acid to eat through the cocoons. As the lead soldier begins to free him, Dib notices that the other captives are being led away by the soldiers in largish groups. "Wait! You can't leave just yet!" Dib demands as the acid begins to eat away at his cocoon. "Be quiet kid we've got to get you all out of here before the giant magnifying glass shows up" The man states as he tries to pry Dib's cocoon open. "But you don't understand! The alien responsible for creating these things is still down here!" Dib pleads as he attempts to break the cocoon.

The soldier simply stares at him for several seconds before turning around and running off. "Okay that last kid has been traumatized to insanity by this whole thing so we can just leave him here" the soldier can be heard shouting as he runs away. At this exact moment Dib manages to break free of his restraints, landing in a painful looking heap. As he gets up an ant appears menacingly behind him and attempts to snatch him. "Ha! Missed me!" Dib taunts the ant as he positions himself directly in front of a wall. The ant lunges at him and he jumps out of the way, the ant hits a wall causing several cocoons to fall and hit its head.

Dib gets up to find several more ants closing in on him. "Hey look what's that!?" he shouts while pointing off screen. The ants look off to where he pointed to giving him enough time to shimmy up a stalactite. However the ants continue after him when they realize they have been tricked and begin to munch on the base of the structure. Dib attempts to reach for a stalagmite, unfortunately the ants are nearly done eating and the entire structure begins to lean away from the ceiling formation.

Fortunately the sound of rockets fills the cavern, distracting the ants and leaving Dib clutching a dangerously tilted stalactite. Soon the origin of the sound makes itself known as Zim's Voot cruiser comes flying into the cavern before impacting the larger ant on the central pillar. An explosion rocks the cavern as ant innards splatter over every one in the room and throwing Zim into the opposite wall. After a few moments of awkward silence the ants go insane and begin cannibalizing each other, this chaos continues for a few minutes before a blinding flash disrupts the whole scene.

ON THE SURFACE

Dib's ant gut covered head emerges from the earth and after shaking some residual guts from his eyes he gasps in horror. From his perspective we see a giant magnifying glass suspended above the city by helicopters, burning the earth, clearly attempting to get all the ants. He then begins to look around witnessing all the burnt buildings and soot covered people. He then settles on a roasted ant which he kicks to make sure that it is indeed dead. It begins to move a bit, its abdomen shaking violently. Dib backs off in horror, expecting the insect to come after him. However this does not happen, instead GIR bursts forth from the creature and starts doing a little jig. "Yeah! Rave doggeh!" the kid from the beginning of the chapter shouts before collapsing to the ground face first.


	3. Ten Minutes to Doom

Ten Minutes to DOOM

**A/N: **Everything in this chapter belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and that Juke-box company that now airs shows about commando penguins and deformed schoolchildren.

* * *

We open upon the front yard of the Skool, every thing contains an air of high drama... its all in slow motion... Suddenly the skool bell rings, it's three o'clock and all of the kids are heading home.

We see Zim walking happily through the yard, undoubtedly planning something evil. Dib and Torque Smacky stand nearby, Dib turns to Torque and says something. Torque chuckles menacingly and throws a ball at Zim. Zim falls to the ground, dislodging his backpack. Everyone laughs at Zim, Torque sees Dib laughing and gets disgusted at his enjoyment.

Zim hits the floor and everything goes back to real-time as Zim's PAK pops off of his back. Dib's eyes light up in shock at the sight and he quickly takes action. He holds it for a beat, awed, then runs off with it. Zim is dazed and barely registers this before he blacks out.

All we see is the blackness of unconsciousness. Over this blackness we hear a strange, alien heartbeat. A clock appears on the screen, counting down from ten minutes. "Ughh... Whuh? My lifeclock? Why? Lifeclocks don't come on unless.." We hear Zim's thoughts before he snaps awake, frantic. He reaches around to feel his back.

"AAAAAAAGH! My PAK! IT'S GONE!" The clock moves to the corner of the screen, where it will remain for the rest of the episode. The first thing Zim sees are the faces of his skoolmates circled above him. All the kids point in one direction: down the hall. Zim follows the pointed fingers with his eyes and sees...

Dib, standing at the end of the hall and clutching Zim's PAK to his chest. Dib looks guilty as heck, realizing he's been caught. He bolts around a corner. Zim chases him around for a few turns until he loses him in an open area with a huge crowd of kids, but no Dib. Zim loses it, whirling about in the middle of the crowd, searching with his eyes.

"GIVE ME BACK MY PAK, Dib! I need it to LIVE! Without it I can only survive for ten minutes and the countdown has already started! I am NOT going to expire on this filthy planet because of youuu! " Zim frantically shouts into the crowd, continuing his search for the large headed boy. "Ehh...forget all that 'need my backpack to live' stuff. Yeah. Um, it's just that... uh... it was full of sandwiches, and I love sandwiches." All the kids give him odd looks and the go back to whatever they were doing.

Behind a nearby pillar on a raised part of a nearby building, Dib has overheard the whole thing. He cradles Zim's PAK like it's taken on a whole new meaning. Zim can be seen below. "This thing's even more important than I thought. Oh hi, Screamy" Screamy, a happy-looking kid, walks by and stops in front of Dib. Immediately after speaking, Dib covers his mouth in horror of what he has just invited. "HI, DIB! HOW YA DOIN!?" The kid screams at the top of his lungs alerting the whole crowd, including Zim, who looks up at the sound. "No, Screamy! SHHH! Don't say any-" Dib attempts to silence the loud boy, he fails. "HOW COME YOU'RE WHISPERIN', DIB!? HUH, DIB?! HUH?! I LIKE YOUR NAME: DIB!" the child screams, oblivious to Dib's attempt to silence him.

Dib screams, terrified. He clamps his hands over Screamy's mouth, but then runs screaming at the site of Zim pushing his way through the crowd towards him. Once again, ZIM arrives too late and Dib is gone. He grabs Screamy by the shirt. "SCREAMY! Where did he go? Where did the little thief run to?!" Zim demands of the child.

"I DUNNO, BUT HE SURE DID RUN! AH YOU SHOULDA SEEN'IM! LIKE A GAZELLE! A GAZELLE I SAY! WOW, I SURE WISH I-" Zim flinches at Screamy's onslaught of sound. "Come on, Screamy, think! THINK LIKE NEVER BEFORE! WHICH WAY DID HE GO?" Zim continues his interrogation and Screamy attempts an answer. "LET ME THINK! LET MEE...UHHH! UHHHH!" Screamy thinks about it. He thinks reeall hard. Zim is insane with waiting for Screamy. The strain of thinking is too much and the top of Screamy's head explodes. Black smoke pours out. ZIM drops a moaning and twitching Screamy to the ground. "NOOOOO! Feeble humans!" Zim screeches at the random stupidity of humanity.

Zim's eye catches a security camera... Then another, and another; from the looks of things, the Skool is monitored by hundreds of security cameras. Zim looks like he's just thought of something, and he runs off. Zim bursts into the security room, waking the Security Officer, who sits in front of a huge bank of monitors.

"Quickly! My backpack's been stolen! Everything that I am is in that PAK! My memory drive, my charging cell, my atmospheric processor! My ZIMNESS!" Zim yells at The Officer show just stares at him. Zim rethinks his approach. "Heh. It also gots my baby brother inside!" The officer stares for a few more seconds "SWEET DONKEY! My baby brother was taken away in my backpack once, too! What can I do to help?"

"I need to find the thief Dib!" Zim tells the officer who turns toward a bank of monitors and a key board. "I'm not really supposed to tell you this, but you kids are implanted with a homing chip so we can find you at all times..." the officer explains as he types on the key board. Zim looks a little uneasy at this bit of information, but he's got more important things on his mind right now.

"Ha! Found him..."

Somewhere inside the skool Dib is on the phone trying to contact his father. "I need to speak to Professor Membrane! This is his son. What do you mean he's busy? This is important! Well, tell him I'm coming to the lab, I have something he'll wanna see..." Dib tells the person on the other end of the line. "East wing, near the exits!" the officer tells Zim back in the security office.

Zim rushes out of the office. Dib is around the corner from Zim, but Torque is down the hall. "Torque? Zim called you a dookie-weenie and says he's gonna beat you up. Look, here he comes now!" Dib tells the large muscular kid. "Deenie-woookie?" the slow minded kid repeats as he drinks from a juice box. "No, no, no... a dookie-weenie" Dib repeats, attempting to get it through his skull.

"Dookie..." Torque crushes his juice box in his fist, Zim is now behind him. "WEENIE?! THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS!" Torque states angrily. Torque yells and pounces on Zim, growling and moaning while Zim screams frantically. Dib watches from the side, Dib holds up Zim's PAK. "You're going to make me very famous, little alien backpack, I just hope... What the-?" two claws emerge from the PAK and knock over Dib.

Dib gets dragged off into the streets by Zim's PAK. Shortly after, ZIM bursts out of the Skool's front doors, having escaped the beating, with Torque not far behind. "TAKE IT BACK! TAKE BACK THE DOOKIEWEENIE! Ahhhhhhh!" Zim runs into a crowd of pedestrians, ditching Torque for the moment. Zim stops to catch his breath against the leg of a standing pedestrian. "So... weak... No! My body shell... is already starting to deteriorate! My amazing intelligence... draining. Must reconnect with brain!"

"ZIM!" Torque has spotted ZIm, who begins to run again, desperately looking around for a way out. Zim spots something that gives him hope. He sprints madly and leaps... directly into THE FATTEST SUMO WRESTLER WE HAVE EVER SEEN. He sinks into his girth. Torque walks by, confused. He looks for ZIM but can't find him anywhere, He runs off.

Beat.

Another beat.

Finally, ZIM's fist shoots out from between two folds of flesh on the Sumo Wrestler. Triumphant music plays, His face pops up, gasping for air. He flops to the ground. He looks up to see Torque, a block away. Torque doesn't see Zim. Zim looks around, he's running out of time. He spots Gaz playing a Ninja Fighting video game in an arcade. "The sibling. Maybe she could... No! An INVADER needs help from no... helper!" he coughs sickly and wobbles woozily, steadying himself on a nearby doggy, He looks desperate.

Dib, sitting in a city bus, getting many stares, has finally contained the wild PAK, holding it tight against his chest. The PAK suddenly stops struggling. Dib looks alarmed, then relaxes, glad the resistance is over with for now. "Well, I guess I wore this thing out. I... huh?" He tugs at the PAK and finds that it's stuck to his chest, attached by two strong cables that seem to actually go INTO him! He rolls around on the floor, pulling at the thing, he eventually calms down.

"Okay... don't panic... Dad'll know how to get this off. I just have to get to his lab... and then take over the filthy Earth!" Dib says the last bit in an evil sounding voice before he slaps his hands over his mouth, horrified by the words that have just exited his mouth.

INSIDE THE ARCADE

The arcade has no front wall and Gaz plays a game nearest the sidewalk. A half-dead Zim wobbles dangerously, riding the doggy he found earlier like a horse. The dog stops and Zim flops off to the sidewalk, lying face-up. Gaz stares at him then gives him a lazy kick to the side. He quickly shoots upright, then immediately goes more slack. His eyes look off in two different directions..

"Dibsister!Dibstolemybackpackandhetakes ittoyourfather'slabforexperimentingonitandi fIdon'tgetitbacksoon,Iwon'tlivenomorefilthyearthhuman" He utters a continual stream of words that is slurred and almost incoherent. "You're not making any sense" Gaz responds, trying, and failing to concentrate on her game.

"Backpak have brain thing make Zim act like Zim. Need PAK to think stuff" he speaks separate words this time but they are even more slurred. "Oh yeah... That's MUCH better" she sarcastically responds as she tries to return to her game. Zim beats his head against the wall, knocking his eyes back into alignment.

Gaz turns her head at the sound of her game ending in a horrible loss. Zim sees the GameSlave 2 poking out of Gaz's pocket and snatches it while she's distracted, he stuffs it into his pocket. "He also stole your Game device and wants to experiment on it too!" he says as he mentally admires his plan. Gaz searches her pocket, She looks furious,

"Where did you say he was going?" she demands of the failing alien. "Can't tell you... have to SHOW you... Zim weak... need Dibsister to carry" Zim has started to go wall-eyed again and begins to collapse. Gaz looks angry... she finally grabs Zim by the ankle and drags him like a sack down the street.

IN MEMBRANES LAB

Membrane and another scientist stand next to each other. They have identical workstations, each with a brain in a tray. Next to each of them stand inactive robots with empty heads. A tense crowd of lab technicians watches, one of them holds a stopwatch. Membrane completes whatever he is doing to his brain before the other scientist and stuffs the brain into the robot on his side. The robot springs to life.

"I am FOODIO, the robot that will end world hunger. OFF I GO!" Foodio merrily runs off. The stopwatch holder clicks to stop the timer and holds Membrane's arm up victoriously. The crowd cheers Membrane, while the other scientist grudgingly hands Membrane a wad of cash. The crowd leaves the room. Membrane poses heroically as camera-bots zoom in from seemingly nowhere to snaps his picture. Dib runs in, however, scaring the camera-bots away.

"Dad!" Dib shouts as his face involuntarily twitches from all the Zimness entering his brain. "How did you get in here, little boy?"" The Professor does not seem to recognize Dib. "Dad, it's me, ZIM! I mean DIB! I want you to have a look at this! NOW LOOK, FILTHY HUMAN! I mean... dad!" he rants insanely as he gestures towards the PAK on his chest.

"Son, I don't like to get involved in your fashion matters, but that big metal shirt of yours is-" Membrane begins to say, but Dib interrupts. "IT'S NOT A SHIRT! It's taking over my inferior human mind! You have to analyze it! I'm sure you'll be amazed" Dib begins to speak more and more like Zim throughout that sentence. Dib activates the spider legs to show off the technology. "FASCINATING! Perhaps just a quick look…"

Gaz rides a motorcycle dowm the steet leading to the labs with a feeble ZIM hanging on behind her and an exceptionally safe-looking helmet on her head. "...hurry...there don't be enough time left...life...draining...ZIM.." Zim seems really out of it but it's hard to tell over the deafening sound of the motorcycle. Gaz speeds up, looking angry and determined.

Membrane uses some scanning tools and probes on the PAK. "It's some kind of parasite! Get it off before... I AM ZIM! Hurry, dad! It's doing something to my brains!" Dib squirms as his rants become more and more Zim-like. "I've almost got it off of you here…" The Professor states as he tugs on the PAK.

Gaz zooms past the guards in front of Membrane Labs, riding ZIM like a horse. ZIM looks exhausted and drooly, and then confused.

Back inside the laboratory The Professor has almost removed the PAK from his son. "Careful... Dad, do you know what this means? This device... it IS ZIM. It's his brain and his life support. That means his body is just... something to carry his PAK around. It's... I AM ZIM AND I WILL RULE YOU ALLLLL!" He uses the legs to push Membrane over. Dib, with robot legs protruding from his belly, scuttles away towards the remaining robot from earlier.

Then Gaz bursts into the lab.

"Gaz! Your brother wants to rule us all! We have to stop him!" Membrane pleads as he gets up. "Yeah, yeah. He stole my GameSlave, and now he's gonna PAY" Gaz says, her voice filled with rage and vengeance. Zim flops through the door, looking barely alive, He drools sick goo. The counter is down to about thirty seconds. "...give up, Dib...ZIM here now...prepare for...Floooooooog. ZIM FLOOOOOOG! DuuhhhhHHHhh..." Zim then flops around somemore.

Dib does some quick work on the robot brain, laughing evilly all the while. He plops the brain into the robot and the robot comes to life, looking insane and spooky-like. "I AM DESTRUCTIO! THE ROBOT THAT WILL END ALL LIFE ON EARTH! OFF I GO!" Destrucio smashes through a wall and runs into the city. Dib rubs his hands evilly, enjoying his work. "Noooooo!" Membrane hammily shouts to the heavens

"Dibsister! Attack!" Zim says after welling up some strength from out of nowhere. "Give me my GameSlave back now and I'll let you keep ONE of your limbs, Dib" Gaz shakes with rage as she approaches her sibling. "BLUUAAAAAGH?!" Zim has used up most of his strength making a coherent sentence.

Dib is too busy laughing hysterically to notice his sister's threats. When her rage reaches its peak, she leaps up, executes a series of ninja moves and knocks the PAK off of Dib. It falls to the ground right next to ZIM. ZIM looks at it for a moment as though trying to remember what it is, then stumbles over and picks it up.

He tries to put in on his head like a hat. The clock is counting down... five seconds.

four... he tries to stand on it...

three, two... finally, he puts it on his back.

The clock stops with one second left on it. ZIM's body rejuvenates, looking full and healthy green again. His eyes flash as the data floods back into him. He levitates for a second, full of power. "I AM ZIM!" he shouts once all the data is back.

Dib raises his head to see the victorious Zim. "You have no idea what you were toying with, Dib. Your filthy human body chemistry isn't compatible with the PAK. It would've destroyed you! You're lucky I defeated you. HAH!" He raises his arms in victory. As he raises his arms, the GameSlave falls out of his pocket. Gaz, standing over her dazed brother and preparing to make good on her threat of limb removal, sees this and her eyes go wide with anger.

Zim sees the advancing wave of evil that is Gaz, shrieks and runs away. Gaz chases him through the hole in the wall left by Destructio. Dib watches them go, then remembers something very important. "OH NO! I MUST STOP DESTRUCTIO!" Dib runs out to stop the monstrous machine. Membrane is alone in his ruined laboratory. He shakes his head sadly, "That boy and his friends..."

Another wall comes down, revealing a furious Torque Smacky, still running after ZIM. He runs through the hole that Zim and Gaz just exited through. "DOOOOOOOKIEEEEEWEEEEEENIE!" Membrane turns the lights off and leaves the room, disgusted.


	4. Day of Da Spookies

"Day of Da Spookies"

* * *

In Ms. Bitters classroom Dib stands in front of a screen displaying pictures of a group of strange slug people. "…and that's how I discovered that the sweaty people across the street were actually a family of giant slugs!" he says proudly while pointing to an image of a slug person. "Man, Dib, can you GET any crazier? Next you'll be calling Sluggy a slug person!" the child named Zita gestures over to Sluggy, a slug boy, sitting in his slime-drenched desk, wearing a "no salt" shirt.

"Heyyy... he **is **a slug person. How long has he sat there?" Dib says in a confused voice. "Looks like Dib's got some slugs of his own, and they're eating his brain!" Zim jokingly declares while pointing to his head. The class breaks out into laughter, with Dib looking not at all happy with the nasty attention. "WHOAH! BRUTAL, MAAN! BRUTAL!" Poonchy declares from the front row.

"Joke all you want Zim, but it's an open mind and my paranormal studies that've kept me on your alien tail from day one!" Dib retorts. "Alien. Pleeease. You know nothing" Zim scoffs at the possibility, Dib looks agitated for a moment before he begins to speak. "I know you're from a race of planet-stealing aliens named IRKENS. Your brain is contained in that backpack of yours. Your eyes are synthetic implants... should I go on?" Dib quickly rattles off some facts, Zim has grown paranoid and silent. He is obviously shocked to hear just how much Dib really knows. The entire class stares at him. Zim steels himself and responds.

"Oh yeah, well- HEY WHAT'S THAT!?" Zim points at something and then runs from the class.

Later in Zim's lab he is watching a recording of Dib's little speech, which is also filled with Dib schematics and research. The image zooms into Dib's face, smiling proudly. GIR and Minimoose watch attentively as Zim talks. "What makes him different? When all the other humans are blind like...little blindies, why does Dib pursue me?" Zim pauses for a moment and Minimoose squeaks. "Exactly, Minimoose. His belief in his paranormal nonsense, that's why. But I have a plan to change all that and you'll all be helping me"

GIR jumps for joy at the mention of the plan and Minimoose squeaks happily. Invader Skoodge claps wildly and cheers. "YEEAAAH! A PLAN! HOW EXCITING!" Zim stares at the chubby irken for a few moments. "SKOODGE?! What are you doing here?!" he demands in a shocked and surprised way. "I don't have anything to do. Since I conquered Blorch, I've been living in your basement. So, how can I help?" Skoodge enthusiastically asks.

"Since I conquered Blorch blah blah blah Quit rubbing it in my face! And my plan doesn't need any of your filthy Skoodge help. GIR, Minimoose, let's go!" Zim mocks Skoodges voice before running out with a cheering GIR and a squeaking Moose.

Zim runs to Dib's door and rings the doorbell. "Who is it?" Dib politely asks from somewhere behind the door. "It is I, the legendary BIGFEETS!" Zim grandiosely declares then runs behind a bush with GIR. The two giggle with evil glee. Dib excitedly opens his door and leaps onto his doorstep. "BIGFEETS! I knew you were real! What?! No BIGFEETS!? IT WAS ALL A LIE!" at the absence of anyone at the door, Dib begins to cry. "I've been wrong all along. Wrong about everything. Now I will stop hunting Zim!"

He falls to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. We come out of Zim's little fantasy and see Zim chuckling. In reality, an irritated Dib opens the door and peeks out. He sees nothing and closes the door. Zim is confused. "Hmmmm... time for plan B" GIR and Minimoose make sounds of awe.

Once again, the group is gathered together in the lab, all watching Zim. Zim holds up a strange bodysuit covered with wires. "WHAT IS IT? TELL MEEEE! TELLL MEEEEE! AGHHH! AGHHH! TELL ME! AAAAGH!" GIR loudly inquires for no reason we will ever know. "A phantom suit! An invisibility shroud, basically. They're for military stealth missions, but I've made a few modifications and now they're "GHOST" suits! I AM AMAZING!" Zim proudly declares after a beat of irritation.

Skoodge pops up from a vent in the floor. "WOW! What can I do to help?"

"Nothing! And shut up about conquering BLORCH! You got lucky! LUCKY I SAY!" he shouts before turning to GIR and Minimoose. "Come on, our ghostly mission begins NOW!" Zim hands out some suits to GIR and Minimoose. They suit up and run off. Skoodge goes back into the vent looking quite sad and left out.

LATER, IN DIB'S BEDROOM

A sleepy Dib sits on his bed with a horror novel in his lap. The words 'Cthulu Badness' can be seen on the cover. The curtains blow inward. On his TV, a scary movie plays...

"And now that you know my secret, I will drink your brainblood! BLUHH! BLUHHH!" an actress in the movie shouts moments before slurping sounds can be heard.

Dib nods off with the book in his lap. Suddenly, the TV turns off...ON ITS OWN! Dib doesn't move. More whispering comes from a source that can't be seen.

Suddenly the window SLAMS shut...ON ITS OWN!

Dib smacks his lips and turns his head, but does not wake.

The book closes...ON ITS OWN! Dib momentarily awakens...

"...look out! That pony is possessed!" He mumbles before falling right back asleep. A voice that sounds like Zim's, only spookier, comes out of the darkness. "Dib. Diiiiiiib..." the spooky Zim-like voice moans, waking Dib up "Huh?"

"Diiiiiiiib. It is I, Count Ghostula" Zim's spooky voice declares moments before a crazy voice screams, "This is too scary!" the voice is clearly GIR. "Silence, my fellow ghost friend" Count Ghostula reprimands his ghostly friend. "What's going on? Where are you?" He frantically looks around the room, but finds nothing. "I'm a ghost from beyond. Look!"

Suddenly, Zim, GIR, and Minimoose in crappy ghost costumes fade into view. They float slightly above Dib's bed, he is in complete awe. ZIM does a graceful spin in midair. Minimoose squeaks and lazily floats up to the ceiling, upside down. It just sticks there like that. GIR floats all over the place, making spooky noises, knocking things over and being more freakish than spooky.

"WHOAH, there, ghost friend! You'll have to excuse him, he's not yet accustomed to being on the OTHER SIDE! WhOooOOOooooH!" Zim excuses GIR's behavior before giving him a swift kick in the butt. "GHOSTS! DAD! GHOSTS IN MY ROOM!" He loudly shouts down the hall. "I'll be right there, even though you're insane!" The Professor shouts back at his son.

"No! We're not ready for anyone else to see us yet! We'll vanish forever! OooH!" Count Ghostula says in a panicky voice. Dib thinks about this for a second. As Membrane and Gaz appear in the doorway, ZIM and his ghostly cohorts fade away. "All right Dib, where are the ghosts?" Dib's dad says in a fed up voice.

"Uh...my mistake. They were giant spiders... yeah, False alarm" Dib feeds this excuse to his family, they growl and walk away, disgusted. Ghostula reappears, "Excellent! No one must interfere with our spoooky plan, we want YOU to help us reveal ourselves on live television where things can go horribly wrong and possibly ridicule someone" Ghostula explains. "That's an odd plan, but it could earn me the fame and respect I deserve! OKAY!" Dib picks up the phone andhits a speed dial button. "Hello? Mysterious Mysteries? This is Dib. No, don't hang up! I have three ghosts in my room! Send a camera crew down here immediately. Okay... COOL"

"WELL? TELL Count Ghostula everything" he demands in Zim's typical manner of speech. "Well, they're sending a trained professional to make sure you're really ghosts. Only after they approve will the host show up to declare me the greatest paranormal pioneer of the century!" Dib is practically exploding with enthusiasm. "Wait... an investigator?" Ghostula looks quite nervous as he says this. Zim looks out the window as the Mysterious Mysteries news van pulls up outside.

"Um...We'll be right back. We got some ghost stuff to take care of back in ghostland" Zim says as he lifts the windowsill and starts to climb out. "Hey, if you're ghosts, why do you have to use the window to get out? Why can't you just walk through the walls?"

"Uh, we just don't want to show off." Zim falls clumsily out the window, GIR blasts through the wall and Minimoose floats down from above, not quite making it out the window. The little moose gently bumps into the top part of the window frame and sticks there. ZIM's arms reach in, grasping wildly until he snatches the moose.

The camera crew and the Trained Professional run up Dib's walkway. The Professional drops his briefcase and lags behind. The camera crew enters Dib's house. Zim hides in the bushes with GIR and Minimoose. "I wasn't counting on being examined. It'll ruin everything! That fool can't be allowed to investigate us" inside the Trained Professional is still picking up stuff.

"Now, Minimoose!" Zim shouts as Minimoose flies towards the Professional. We hear the sounds of a great struggle. When Zim and GIR run over to the walkway, the Professional is bound and gagged in elaborate chains, with a squeaking Minimoose atop him. "Quickly GIR, launch him into space!" Zim whispers before GIR throws the Professional up and out of the atmosphere. Zim and GIR quickly duck out of sight. "Okay, we need a replacment Ghost Professional. Someone to keep our evil trick going until it is the perfect time to embarrass Dib. But who? WHO WILL PLAY THE PART?" Zim looks to his companions, a flustered GIR responds; "I don't know."

Zim looks disgusted and then opens his communicator.

Later, Dib greets the camera crew at his front door. "You Dib?" the first Cameraman asks. "Yeah. Where's the Ghost Professional?" Dib asks, trying to look behind the two cameraman. "I don't know. He was right behind us and then he kind of got launched into space" the second cameraman explains. Suddenly, the doors swing open, followed by the dramatic entrance of Invader Skoodge, who is dressed in a ridiculous paper thin "professional ghost person" get-up.

"Here I am, back from space! Now, where are the ghosts?" Everyone stares at him in shock.

Skoodge stands in front of the three "ghosts" with a bunch of odd looking equipment in front of him. The camera crew and Dib stand nearby. The crew is filming. "Okay, let's start the test off easy. Uh...let's begin with a question... are you ghosts?" He asks, giving them a quizzical expression. "Oh yes" Ghostula Minimoose squeaks a positive-sounding squeak. "You live in the basement!" GIR shouts as he points at Skoodge.

"That's his way of saying "yes"" Zim covers for his crazed minion. "Sounds good to me. Now it's time to see if you dance like ghosts" Skoodge continues being quizzical. "Huh?" Zim is getting angry at his basement squatter. "Uh, yeeaaah. It's in all the books. It's a ghost dance. You know" Skoodge pulls some random fact out of thin air. GIR does a floating dance of insanity. Minimoose sort of bobs back and forth in midair, squeaking all the way.

"Um.. , I think we should move on. I don't...uh..where did you...?" Zim is irritated before noticing that Skoodge is no longer standing where he was just standing. Zim looks around and sees Skoodge dancing with GIR and Minimoose. Zim looks miserable and kind of dances over to Skoodge. When he's close enough, Zim kicks him.

"Ow! UH, OH YEAH. Very good" Skoodge approves of the little jig as he rubs his injured side. "So, what's the next test!?" Zim / Ghostula asks through angrily gritted teeth. "Next...Uhhhh..." Skoodge looks nervous, as all the people stare at him. He looks around the room for something, anything. He sees a terrarium with a lizard in it. He grabs a fistful of dirt and throws it into ZIM's face. ZIM crumples to the floor, swiping at his face and coughing violently.

"YES! See, uh, ghosts are allergic to dirt. Yeah. So he's a real ghost!" Skoodge triumphantly declares to the cameras. "I guess it's settled, I-" Zim says as he starts to get up but then GIR throws a clump of dirt into ZIM's face sending ZIM rolling and gagging again. Dib looks thrilled. While he speaks, ZIM feebly crawls around as GIR follows him and throws clump after clump into his master's face.

"YES! THEY'RE REAL! That means-" Dib happily declares before his door WHOOSHES open and the Mysterious Mysteries Host enters with a spooky cloud of smoke. "Long have we believed ghosts were real, but NOW we have proof. THREE REAL ghosts and it's all thanks to Dib, the GREATEST PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR EVER TO LIVE! CONGRATULATIONS, DIB!" Dib is adorned with a crown and a cape signifying that he is indeed the greatest paranormal researcher. Newspapers tout his discovery with headlines like "THREE GHOSTS!" And "DIB IS NICE!". The pictures show Dib with his three ghost friends posing in various locales. All this happens in seconds.

"WOOO!" Dib shouts as he is happier than ever before. "Excuse me, I have a confession to make" Zim says before he clears his throat then lets out an evil laugh. "It's all been a cruel hoax, a prank set up by Dib! NOW, SEE THE TRUTH!" then GIR's and Minimoose's disguises shut down so that we can see who they really are, a strange green dog and a floating purple moose. Zim's own disguise flutters a little bit but doesn't shut off. He still looks like a ghost. He keeps hitting at some button on his chest.

"You see?! The Dib has made fool of you all! We're not ghosts. We're... wait... something's wrong with my suit. Hold on..." Zim says as he continues to struggle with the off switch. "ZIM!?"Dib shouts as he realizes the horrible truth. "Count Ghostula is right... We've been tricked! There's only ONE ghost! THREE ghosts would've been amazing, but only one ghost is cruel and horrible!" The MM host loudly declares.

"Wait a minute, the controls are stuck..." He fiddles with the controls but they only make him emit spooky noises and float a little higher. "Might as well take that ghost with us" the Host mumbles to himself. "NO! SKOODGE! Tell them I'm not a ghost! Tell them you were in on it all along!" Skoodge, looking nervous and frightened, runs away like a child.

"So it turns out Dib is the greatest insane fraud ever. His trickery knows no limits" the Host says to the cameras. "Wait! I didn't- OH NO! NOT THE CAMERAS!" Zim shouts as the cameras whoosh in and take more pictures. More headlines fly around, these much more evil-looking than before. Zim appears more wicked. In one he's actually a goblin. All are variations of the "DIB IS A FRAUD" theme.

"Put the ghost in a ghost bucket for horrible painful tests" he happily declares as Zim is carried off in a bucket. "NOOOOO! I AM ZIM! I AM ZIIIM!" Zim screams can be heard from inside the bucket. "Well, I sort of win, ZIM. Have fun in-"

"Put Dib in an insane fraud bucket for testing" the Host says, instead of being shocked, Dib just sighs as he's tossed into a bucket. "HEY! THERE'S RATS IN HERE!?" Dib shouts as the rodents nibble at his feet. "Indeed there are. Indeeeed there are. Let's get out of this house of lies" Dib's squeaking bucket is picked up and everyone leaves.

* * *

**A/N: **Happy New Year everyone!


	5. Top of the Line

_TOP OF THE LINE_

Zim walks into his lab, whistling cheerily, he turns one of the monitors and we see Dib in a cage somewhere else in the base. "You won't get away with whatever your planning Zim! I won't let you!" Dib screams at his unseen adversary. Zim is calmly watching this without a care in the world; he presses a random button on the console. Back on the monitor a door makes a whooshing sound Dib turns toward the darkness behind it. We don't see what's happening but there are a bunch of laser type sounds along with some flashing red lights and Dibs screams of pain.

"Hey Zim how's it going?" Skoodge emerges from a vent in the ceiling, using his PAK legs to get to the floor without injuring himself. Zim simply ignores him, keeping his eyes to the monitor and typing some notes as Dib's screams continue. "So, are those the laser weasels you were boasting about" Skoodge points to the screen, Zim continues to ignore his roommate. "Oh come on! I said I was sorry! And the experiments weren't **That **painful!"

"GIR! Remove this pitiful excuse of an invader!" Zim finally responds; his red eyed robot minion is then deposited by a transport tube of some sort. "YES! MY LORD!" the spastic minion replies before his eyes shift to cyan and he pulls some waffles out of his head. "YOU WANT SOME WAFFLESSS!?" the minion shoves the plate into Skoodge's face. "Ummm…okay" The chubby invader picks up one of the starchy treats, it squeaks like a squeak toy.

Zim is not paying attention to this whole exchange, he is watching an interstellar transmission.

"THIS WEEKEND ON THE AWESOME COMPETITON PLANET OF COMPETOPIA! COME SEE THE GREATEST COMPETITION OF ALL TIMMEEEE!" the transmission loudly declares as waffle munching sounds can be heard in the background. "COME SEE THE GREATEST CONQUERERS OF ALL TIME, THE IRKEN INVADERS, COME TOGETHER TO PIT THIER ROBOTIC MINIONS AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THE QUEST TO DISCOVER….THE GREATEST SIR UNIT IN ALL EXISTENCE! YEAH!" as the transmission ends Skoodges choked hiccups can be heard in the background.

"SKOODGE! Did you know about this!?" Zim shouts at his squatter how is now coughing horrendously. "*cough* yeah, got my invite last week *cough*" on the last cough Skoodge spews out a skeleton-like squeak toy. "Where did my invite go!?" Zim shouts, shocked that he did not get one, while he does Skoodge coughs up another squeak toy, and some bubbles. "I don't know *cough* maybe the mailing planet lost it *hiccup*"

"How many of these things did GIR put in there?" Skoodge ponders out loud while looking at the two toys. "At least three more" the skeleton toy speaks, shocked, Skoodge drops it. "Hey! Watch it!" the toy berates Skoodge. "You can talk!?" Skoodge just stands there, shocked at what he's seeing. "That's not all I can do" the toy boasts as he stands up on his feet. "Well I'm off…and your friend doesn't look too good" the toy says as he walks toward the elevator.

Skoodge turns to Zim, whom he finds with a downtrodden expression on his face. Zim changes his expression the instant he realizes that Skoodge is looking at him. "That is right! Those incompetent boobs must have lost my invite, probably messed up 'cause the 'great conquerer of Blorch' is squatting in my basement!" Zim mentions Skoodge's victory in a mocking tone. "Yeah that's probably it…Hey! Why don't you come along with me? I could vouch for you"

"But you don't have a SIR unit! Why don't I just take your invite?" Zim tries to menacingly bear down on Skoodge, but fails. "My SIR's in storage on Irk, I was going to have it delivered to me on Competopia, besides the invite has my name on it" Skoodge holds up the holographic invite, his statement is true.

COMPETOPIA

"ALL COMPETETORS AND SPECTATORS FOR THE SIR UNIT COMPETITION COME DOWN TO THE SUPERDOME!" a loud, booming announcer voice announces. "People here for other things, find your own stupid stuff" the voice quietly adds on to his previous announcement. While this is being broadcast huge crowds of Irkens mill about, heading down the walkways leading to the so called SuperDome. Nearly trampling other Irkens huddled around some map kiosks, looking for their own stupid stuff.

The scene shifts to the inside of the SuperDome, Zim runs up to a large table with a banner above it declaring that it is the sign in booth. "The amazing ZIM is here now! Where did Zim's invite go!?" Zim shouts at the Irken behind the desk who shudder's in fear before he scans the list of invited Invaders. "I'm sorry but your name is not on the list" the Irken says, cringing in fear just as Zim starts screaming.

"WHAT!? How could the AMAZING ZIM not be on the list!? ZIM is great!" Zim shouts as his malfunctioning SIR unit and Skoodge walk up behind him. "What's wrong Zim?" Skoodge asks as he tries to contain the spastic minion. "This imbecile says ZIM is not on the list how could that not be!?" Zim pouts as Skoodge walks up to the desk. "Hey could you do me a favor, Zim is a friend of mine, he should be on the list but clearly there has been some sort of horrible mistake…" Skoodge begins to speak but the sign in person starts to shake his head.

"I'm sorry but no name means…OH GREAT DOOKIE!" the desk person ducks behind his post just as a flaming meteor zooms in and slams into the desk. "Oh hey! My SIR unit's here!" Skoodge excitedly walks up to the impactor whose rocky surface crumbles revealing a cardboard box. "Yes, yes, your lousy minion has arrived so he can be properly humiliated by my lousy minion…wait, that's not right" Zim says as he walks toward the gate which was knocked open by the blast. "Ummm…Nevermind" Zim was going to correct himself, but then GIR runs through the open door hitting his head with his fists before slamming into the opposite wall.

COMPETOPIA-LANDING CONTROL TOWER

The Irken in charge of landings and take offs is shirking his responsibilities, his feet are up on the radar and he his calmly sipping some soda. Suddenly, the radar begins to beep; he chokes on his soda a bit before looking at the display. "Incoming ship you are coming in to fast, please reduce your speed…incoming ship, RESPOND" getting no reply the Irken turns on the a monitor and gets an image of a purple flaming sphere is careening through the atmosphere, gasping the Irken smashes a button labeled 'Escape Pod Catcher'. Outside four tours raise up out of the edges of the landing pad, suddenly numerous threads shoot out of the towers forming…a giant net.

The escape pod slams into the net which stretches under the pods shear force makes the net sag, it the rebounds sending the pod back into the air. After several bounces the pod and net comes to a halt and some Irken soldiers run out onto the net surrounding the pod as the net is slowly lowered to the ground where it retracts leaving both pod and soldiers on solid ground. A few tense moments pass before the pod splits open allowing a blur to emerge.

The blur swiftly weaves its way between the soldiers, when it is done it positions itself in front of the pod, it is a SIR unit and its red eyes shift to cyan. The soldiers are all ready to shoot but suddenly all their guns begin to arc with energy before blowing up in their faces. "WOOOEEE THAT WAS FUN! Can we do it aggghggg…..aaagggg!" the SIR excitedly squeals in a female voice before it shakes violently as its eyes shift back to red.

Tak steps out of the pod giving a look of pity to MiMi. "MiMi pay attention! We-" Tak is interrupted as a siren sounds, she sees some more soldiers running out onto the landing pad. Tak then jumps onto MiMi's back, the SIR's jets activate. However, a few feet off the ground the robots eyes shift back to cyan and the two go careening off into the sky.

THE SUPERDOME

Skoodge and Zim are approaching a door labeled 'impound' the Irken at the entrance desk sees Zim coming, screams in terror and then runs away as if his pants were on fire. "Hah! You see that Skoodge! That pitiful desk drone could simply not stand to be near such an awesome Invader and his minion!" Zim says as GIR hops down the hall way on the flat part of his head. "Yeah, it was impressive" Skoodge says as his own SIR unit walks beside him. It is much larger than normal, at least as tall as Skoodge himself.

The four walk into the impound place and find numerous stalls most of which all contain a SIR unit each of which has its special modification. Skoodge finds his stall and his unit dutifully walks into it without hastle, Zim examines a random stall and removes the name tag. "GIR get into this stall now!...GIR?" GIR is standing in the middle of the room. In his mind we see the other units begin to do their own insane jigs as they all cheer for GIR to come dance with them. Zim is now standing behind GIR, after a few moments, he picks up his insane minion and tosses him into the stall.

"Hey look! Its Tenn!" Skoodge shouts as they exit the impound, he starts waving to the female invader. "Oh, hi Skoodge how have you been" Tenn seems happy to see the chubby invader, but eyes Zim suspiciously. "Never better! Say you remember Zim? From our training days?" Skoodge points over to Zim, who waves at Tenn.

"Oh yeeaahhh I remember Zim" Tenn nervously replies as she tries to run away. "Hey do you want to get some snacks with us while we wait for the competition to start?" Skoodge asks as he grabs her hand. "Umm…well I don't…fine" Tenn reluctantly agrees and the trio walk off towards the cafeteria.

Moments after they leave Tak's head pokes around the corner and checks for any other Irkens. Finding none she walks completely into the hall, followed closely by MiMi. "Okay MiMi do you understand the plan?" Tak says before turning to her SIR unit, which shakes its head, it twitches slightly and its eyes flash cyan momentarily as it does so. "*sigh* come hear" Tak says as she grabs the robots head and pops it open, after fiddling with something she closes it. "How does that feel?" she asks. The robot gives her a thumbs up, Tak runs off, not seeing the robot glitch yet again as it sneaks into the stalls.

Inside one of the stalls we see an odd unit with a head dimpled like a golf ball, it is waiting in the stall with great intensity. A clanking sound is heard somewhere above the stall and the unit looks up in time to see MiMi drop out of the ceiling.

THE CAFETERIA

"Hey, how did you deal with those crazy SIR units?" Skoodge asks as he and Tenn sit down at a table with their snacks. "There was a magnetic storm that put them all into hibernation mode...hopefully they'll still be asleep when I get back" Tenn and Skoodge munch on their nachos some more. Zim approaches, his arms so laden with snacks that he almost falls over before he lays them down on the table. "I think you're going to regret offering to pay for this" Tenn says to Skoodge as Zim begins to wolf down the pile. "Better save some for the competition Zim, you don't know how long it'll last" Skoodge says, the only reply he gets is something that sounds like "Don't tell Zim what to do" but Zim has stuffed his face.

"ALL COMPETETORS PROCEDE TO THE MAIN ARENA AT THIS TIME! OH YEEEAAAHHHH!" an announcement suddenly plays causing Zim to choke slightly on his food. "Well we'd better get going" Tenn says, dumping the remains of her nachos as she leaves.

THE ARENA

It is an immense room, a massive cavern of a place capable of fitting a small earth town inside of it. In a less impressive room off to the side the stalls have been moved as whole units and are now being opened by the respective invaders. "Wow! Competition looks stiff! What do you think Zim?" Skoodge comments as they walk past Invader Larb and the golf ball headed robot. The robot seems fine at first but then collapses into a pile of limbs, Larb picks up its head and one of its eyes pops out.

Zim scoffs as they pass the scene and find the stalls that GIR and CHIPZ are stored in. "HIYA mastah! You missed it! Dat kyoot little kitteh came back n'played with all the monkehs!" GIR waves manically at Zim once the door is opened. "Don't be silly GIR! There are no stoopid earth pets here" Zim then motions for GIR to follow him a sign over the arena exit lights up, telling the invaders it's time to go. "Come on CHIPZ! Lets go!" Skoodge's SIR just stands there staring at him as its head sparks a little.

"THEY'RE THE GREATEST FORCE THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER SEEN! GIVE IT UP FOR…THE IRKEN INVADERS!" the door opens and the booming announcers voice fills the room. "FIRST UP! INVADER SNE-SNEAKYONFOOTA? Did I say that right?...awesome, ALRIGHT GIVE IT UP F-" the oddly named Invader walks through the door and his SIR's head blows off and flies off into the distance. "Ummm….NEVERMIND!"

The next few invaders are named, as they walk through the door at least a quarter of them experience some form of SIR malfunction. "INVADER…SKOODGE!?" as the announcer declares Skoodge's name, CHIPZ walks through the door, giving Skoodge a horrible wedgie and using him as a yo-yo, in the distance, the Tallests laughter can be heard be heard. "INVADER…ZIM!?" gasps of horror can be heard from the crowds and the Tallests room as the big ham walks out onto the field. GIR stares at the formerly excited crowds, imagining the crowds to be dancing wieners for some odd reason.

"oh sweet dooky we're all doomed…I mean, uh…NEXT UP INVADER…" the last few invades fair much worse than the first group, with about a third of the SIR's suffering from sabotage. When all the names have been announced the remaining sixteen invaders and Zim are gathered in one corner of the arena arranged in a circle. Most of the Invaders are standing on top of a platform of some variety, except for the catatonic, wedgie-shocked Skoodge, who is dropped in front of the platform by CHIPZ.

"OKAY! THESE…eh…SEVENTEEN IRKENS ARE THE GREATEST INFILTRATORS OF ALL TIME, AND THEIR SIR UNIT'S ARE THEIR GREATEST ASSET!" as the announcer begins the platforms rise up leaving the SIR's and Skoodge on the ground and stopping just under the Tallests room. "THEIR ROBOTS FIRST TASK IS TO SURVIVE THE ROUGE A.I. HUNTER WE HAVE RELEASED INTO THE ARENA…USING ONLY THEIR DISGUISES!" as the announcer shouts this, the SIR's all shift into their disguises. GIR dons his doggy suit, Tenn's SIR hover's then shifts its legs and four arms around into a different arrangement before it turns a neon blue color.

When all are done disguising themselves, the door in the side of the arena opens revealing a giant tripod robot with metallic tendrils waving off its upper body. the machine wanders in, scanning the arena with its electronic senses, let's see what it does, shall we?

Inside the mechs HUD it scans the arena floor until it comes upon Tenn's SIR. "IDENTIFICATION: MEEKROBIAN WATT HOUND!" the robot announces before it moves on to another part of the arena. "Ohhh…Wha? Where am I?" Skoodge comes out of his wedgie-induced coma just as the mech is looming over him. "IDENTIFICATION: INVADER…SIR UNIT DISGUISED AS INVADER, DISGUISE ATTEMPT: PITIFUL" the robot announces before slapping Skoodge with one of its tendrils.

The conqueror of Blorch is launched into the air, he bounces off a couple walls before landing on CHIPZ's platform. "Hey! CHIPZ you got to go down there and compete!" Skoodge orders the SIR who only stares at him for a few moments. "You're not the boss of me!" CHIPZ shouts before grabbing Skoodge and sitting on him. Embarrassed, Skoodge tries to cover his face as the entire arena laughs at him.

Back on the arena floor MiMi is in her cat disguise sneaking around as the mech searches for its prey. She comes across a SIR using paper cut-outs of leaves to make itself look like a plant. Walking up to the completely immobile robot she slices open the backs of its legs, causing rocket fuel to leak out. Digging a ditch that the fuel follows MiMi walks down to the base of the hill before lighting the fuel, the resulting explosion incinerates the SIR's disguise and it is soon smashed by the mech.

Somewhere beneath the invader's platforms Tak emerges from a porthole in the sidewall. Scanning the platforms she locates the one she is searching for, turns invisible and uses her PAK legs to scale the wall. We can't see her, obviously, but we hear the sounds of her PAK legs as the strike the walls metal surface. Her ascent stops just below Zim's platform and we see a panel on the bottom pop open. Skoodge, still trapped under CHIPZ, sees this.

"Hey Zim! Look!" Skoodge tries to point at what's happening but his ill tempered SIR prevents this. However, in a stroke of luck an explosion in the arena casts enough light that Zim is able to see the shadow of whatever sabotage is going on. "Hey CHIPZ! How'd you like a platform all to yourself?" Zim shouts to the irate robot. "Hell yeah!" and with that CHIPZ and Zim swich places. Moments later Zim's platform begins to spin uncontrollably, launching the SIR across the arena and into the mechs head.

Back at the invaders platforms, Zim's is now emitting a loud, dangerous sounding whir, barely audible below that is the sound of a panicking female Irken. "Curse you ZIM!" Tak shouts as her invisibility fades and she is launched into the sky. She impacts the arena's ceiling and falls onto a rafter, looking back, Zim has not even registered anything, and instead he is talking with Skoodge and Tenn. "Oh well, at least his junk pile of a SIR will soon be out of the picture" she muses as she turns her attention to the arena floor.

GIR was caught in the fuel explosion, his doggy suit is completely burnt off except part of the head and ears, the mech looms over him, scanning. "IDENTIFICATION: SIR UNIT!... HAM!?... BACON GREASE! PIG SWEAT! MONGOOSE FUR! WAFFLE MIX! ACNE BLAST!? DOOKIE! PIZZA GREASE! BUBBLE GUM! PAPERCLIPS! SPACE MEATZZZZ! ZIIITTTTT ZZAAAPPP!" the robots vocalizer sparks and sputters before it dies. The mech's eyes grow dark and it topples over, crushing four other SIR's in the process. Soon after CHIPZ beats his way out of its head, unharmed save for a few scuff marks.

"OH YEAH! THIS IS THE GREATEST COMPETITION OF ALL TIME! ENJOY SOME SNACKS AND A DISCUSSION OF THE INVADERS GNARLY INDIVIDUAL MODIFICATIONS TO THEIR SIR'S WHILE THE FINAL TWELVE CONTESTANTS PREPARE FOR A BATTLE ROYALE TO THE DEATH!" the announcer screams as the losers collect the remains of their SIR units.

A RANDOM HALLWAY

Zim, Skoodge, Tenn, and their SIR's walk down a random hall way within the SuperDome. "Wow! Wasn't that interesting!" Skoodge remarks as he tries to sneak up on CHIPZ. "pfftt, whatever" CHIPZ scoffs as he shoves his hand in his masters face. "Yes, yes GIR was fantastic, let's talk about what happened with my platform" Zim is oblivious to Skoodges predicament as the group walks down the hall.

"Well it looked like someone was tampering with the platforms stabilizers…do you know anyone who'd want to get rid of you?" Tenn suggests as she and her SIR try to avoid GIR who is dancing with a rubber piggy he pulled out of his head. "Nope, no one" Zim replies as the approach a door marked 'SIR Cleaning Station'. "Really are you sure?" Tenn asks in complete disbelief. The conversation ends abruptly when Invader Koot bursts through the door, wailing.

"Oh the HORROR the cleanliness HORROR!" he screams as he waves around a SIR head so clean it is blindingl reflective. He rushes past the group, the three other invaders look at each other before pushing the door open. Inside they find all the cleaning and grooming robots going absolutely insane. SIR's are soaked and shorting out in cleaning solution, encased in polishing wax, a robot wielding one of those circular wax polishers polishes one SIR's head so much that it ceases to exist.

Standing in the middle of all the chaos is a cyan eyed MiMi. "Hiya Kitteh! You wanna dance with me!?" GIR shouts as he bounds up to the robot. He starts doing a little jig, initially, MiMi goes along with it, but then its eyes shift back to red and it uses its giant claw hand to toss GIR into a wall. "*GASP!* That's Tak's SIR unit!" Zim shouts, Tenn and Skoodge give him a look of 'whose Tak?'. At that moment Tak bursts in through an air vent in the ceiling and pins Zim to the floor. "Yes, ZIM! Took you long enough to realize someone would want revenge on you!"

"But you said it wasn't about revenge!" Zim shouts from underneath his adversary. "That was the filling Earth with Snacks plan! This is the plan where I frame you for sabotage!" Tak declares then tosses Zim into a wall. "Ha your plan won't work! I've got Skoodge and Tenn as witnesses!" Zim shouts as he attempts to free himself from the wall. "Really? Whose going to believe two short invaders one of whom gets manhandled by his own SIR unit!?" Skoodge looks embarrassed again, Tenn just looks sad. Tak and MiMi fade into invisibility, Zim runs to the open door and looks out into the hall, he finds nothing.

THE ARENA

Four remaining invaders stand on four platforms with their SIR units, they are hovering before the Tallests room. "Heeeyyyyy, where'd all the other guys go?" Purple asks as a servant hands him some snacks. "SIRS! They were all taken out by malfunctioning grooming equipment!" the fourth invader shouts while saluting, Zim's antenna perk up at this statement. "DOOKIE! It was-"

"AH! We don't want to hear it ZIM!" Red hovers up to the insane Irken. "Besides! If it's anyone's fault, it's YOURS!" Zim is genuinely shocked at this accusation. "What! Zim does not need to cheat! Zim is AMAZING!" he shouts as he waves his arms around, GIR is still doing a little jig. "And creepy and crazy!" Purple adds but no one can understand him through his mouthful of snacks.

The platforms rotate and begin to descend back to the level they were at during the first challenge. "WELCOME BACK! DUE TO A **HORRIFIC **MALFUNCTION IN THE GROOMING PERIOD ONLY FOUR CONTESANTS REMAIN STANDING! FIRST OFF…" the lights dim as a spotlight focuses on the extra Irken. "INVADER PESTO!" at the sound of his masters name, Pesto's SIR losses an eye before tumbling off the platform. "…NEVERMIND! OKAY! THREE CONTESANTS! INVADER SKOODGE!" the spotlight turns to Skoodge, who is getting a noogie from CHIPZ, the crowd laughs. "INVADER TENN!" shifting to Tenn the spotlight reveals a nervous invader with a SIR that is suspiciously looking around, waiting for something to go wrong.

"INVADER *GULP!* ZIM!" finally the spotlight shifts to Zim, GIR is either doing The Worm or having a seizure. "THESE THREE SUPERIOR-Purple's voice in background-SUPERIOR BUT NOT AS AWESOME AS THE TALLESTS IRKENS ARE ABOUT TO PIT THEIR ROBOTIC MINIONS IN THE ULTIMATE TEST OF COMBATIVE SKILL…THE CAGED DEATH BATTLE!" the spotlights shift around again, revealing a massive caged structure in the middle of the arena. The three platforms fly forward, hovering over the top of the cage which opens up. The part of the platforms that the SIR's are on breaks off, Skoodge is almost dragged in with CHIPZ.

The invader's platforms slide down the outside of the cage coming to rest at the bottom while the SIR's platforms descend straight down and deposit their cargo on the mat. "THE BATTLE WILL START IN…FIVE!" Skoodge recovers from his noogie to see CHIPZ crossing his arms and ignoring the other two robots. "FOUR!...THREE!" Zim bites his lip as GIR does the Macarena for some reason. "TWO!...ONE!" Tenn has such a mix of emotions on her face, it's hard to read.

"FIGHT!" the crowd goes wild for a minute or two before they realize nothing's happening. The three robots are just standing in the middle of the mat doing nothing. Though Tenn's SIR looks like it might be planning something when suddenly GIR starts doing stuff. "DANCE WIT ME CHIPZ! C'MON! DANCE WIT MEEEE!" the outburst startles the sour robot, GIR then grabs his hands and begins swinging him around in a circle.

"HEY! SLOW DOWN LITTLE MAN!" CHIPZ shouts as his shoulders spark and crackle with strain. His arms give out and he is flung directly into Tenn's SIR. CHIPZ deflects off the damaged robot and then flies through the cage and into his master, the force of the throw sends them several hundred feet. The entire arena fills with utter silence as the crowd soaks up what just happened, GIR is slapping the sides of his head with CHIPZ arms. Somewhere in the rafters, Tak is digging herself out of a wall as MiMi has performed the same stunt.

The Tallests hover platform descends into the cage; the stunned leaders can do nothing but stare at the two remaining robots. Zim and Tenn run out onto the mat, Zim uses a taco to distract GIR. Tenn stands her robot back on its feet, it is severely damaged, its left eye is cracked, it's covered in scuff marks, one of its left arms falls off. "ehhh…well, it seems that *sob* contestant GIR has-" Red starts to say, but then GIR ask Zim for a taco for his rubber piggy, which he squeaks.

"ehh…ah! Ah hah! Do to Contestant GIR's immense stupidity I declare Tenn to be victorious!" Red hovers over to Tenn and holds up her SIR by its one good left arm. The crowd breaks its silence and cheers like it has never cheered before. "Yes! And for her amazing victory Invader Tenn shall receive…A SIR upgrade pack and a voucher for some free snacks!" the crowd cheers some more, Red then notices Zim is looking quite down.

"*exasperated sigh* and for your second place standing, here is a voucher for some free snacks" Red says as he hands Zim a slip of paper. "How many free snacks?" Zim brightens up almost immediately. Red looks to Purple, who shrugs, shrugging himself Red turns back to Zim, "I don't know, not as many as Tenn…". Content Zim runs off to the food court.

Seeing that her plan has failed, Tak dramatically fades into the darkness

Back at the landing pad Tak's escape pod has been partially covered in Irken police tap and is surrounded by several armed guards. Spying this from behind a cargo crate Tak scans the pad for any other means of escape. She quickly spots it in the form of what appears to be a more streamlined Voot cruiser. Taking her chance Tak grabs hold of a passing cargo truck, she lets the truck carry her as close to the voot as it can before letting go and sprinting for another truck. when this one has brought her as close as it can she lets go, seeing no other trucks nearby she makes a mad dash for the cruiser. Unfortunately for her one of the armed guards around her escape pod spots her and alerts the others. Several of them tackle her and she is knocked out by some sort of smiley-faced security baton before she can even get close to the cruiser.


	6. Tak's Escape

**TAK'S ESCAPE**

**A/N: **Here's my first original chapter, I hope you like it

The Massive floats through space, along with The Armada, its typical following of other, less menacing ships. A shuttle launches from its docking bay and flies off towards another large ship, one of the Viral Tanks that inhabit The Armada. On this ships docking bay a walkway extends out of the shuttles main entrance and an entire platoon of soldiers march out of the doorway and line the sides of the ramp.

The Tallests hover out of the doorway, Red seems almost interested to be there, Purple just seems bored. Immediately after them come some servants who are so laden with their leaders snacks that they are seconds away from being crushed. "Welcome my Tallests! We are so happy that you decided to visit!" an Irken in a scientists robe steps forward to greet his leaders.

"Calm down! This is only a routine visit, it's not like we abandoned you!" Red backs up as the scientist tries to hug him. One of the guards on the ramp steps forward and pushes the scientist back into line. "I'm sorry, it's just we've been working without break for the past month or so and I just don't want it to be for nothing" the scientist shakes nervously a bit while he speaks.

Purple has grabbed a snack from his servant and tries to say something, but can't through his mouthful of food. "Oh, eh…I'm sorry my Tallests but you can't eat anything in the labs" the scientist nervously says, everyone else in the room emits gasps of shock. "I'm sorry but some of the experiments are very sensitive and you shouldn't eat anything near them…" the scientist continues as Purple swallows his snack.

"OF TO THE DUNGEONS WITH'IM!" Purple shouts. Two Irkens at the front of the ramp jump up and drag the scientist away, the second in command steps forward once he is gone. "I apologize for my colleagues absurd comments, shall we start the tour?" the second scientist gestures toward the door and the entire entourage gets on its way. "In this area we are constructing the newest Mechs with which the empire shall crush its enemies" the nerd says as he opens an absurdly thick door.

Inside a bunch of robots are stomping around, stepping on cardboard cutouts of other alien races. "WOOO! Lookit me go!" an overly excited Irken screams with excitement as he pilots an evil looking robot. He stops running, turns toward some cardboard Meekrob and presses a button, some missile silos pop out of its back and launch a pair, and the cutout goes up in a fireball, raining flaming cardboard bits over testing area.

The second Scientist turns to the Tallests, looking for approval. Purple is slurping on a soda, but Red at least looks interested. "Well, how about we go look at the hand held weapons area" the scientist turns and leads the group down a series of hallways. The group arrives at a door, the sign outside the door says 'aim at the red, not the purple. They walk through the door and find themselves in a long room with a window on one side. Through the window the Tallests observe a long, mostly red room. At one end, near a purple wall they see a table with a bunch of menacing, experimental looking guns on top of it.

The second scientist presses and intercom button, "Okay Koffa, you may try the DoomShot 5000 now". A few seconds an Irken that looks like he's been blown up more than once walks out and grabs one of the larger guns. He heaves it over to a specially marked out area and takes aim. Lights on the guns barrel flash for a bit and a high pitched whine fills the air, Purple has stopped sipping his drink long enough to pay attention.

_BLAM!_

A stream of energy issues forth from the barrel, sending Koffa back into the purple wall and a mattress that looks as if it's been placed there solely to catch testers. The stream flies forward, striking the target dead on and filling half of the room with flames. "Ohhhhhh" Purple is actually paying attention for once. "Well now that you seem satisfied you can head off to the cafeteria while we warm up the engines on some experimental spaceships" the second scientist says as he directs the group out of the firing range and down a hallway.

"Hey, what's behind that door?" Purple asks as he points down to the door at the other end of the hallway. "Ohhhhh nuthin' just a door! It's just like every other door in existence; boring, let's go to the cafeteria shall we?" The scientist starts babbling about all the awesome snack machines they have in the cafeteria, but the Tallests are more interested in the door. "What's 'Fringe Science'?" Purple points to the writing above the door as his servant hands him another soda.

"Eh? Wha? Oh…it's just random stuff, the scientists in that area research stuff that's really…out there" as the scientist talks he makes hand gestures to indicate just how 'out there' the research is. Giving in the second in command opens the door, and the eyes of all present go wide with awe. "Why were you trying to hide this from us?" Red asks as they pass a massive chemistry lab. "Well if you really must know…some of these guys really creep me out"

The group passes a room with a large circular device in the middle of it. The group stops as the empty space in the middle of the circle fills with some form of energy, a Vortian prisoner is brought out. A scientist uses a nasty looking electro-prod to force the prisoner through the energy field, on a video screen, the Vortian emerges from another device, fused to some sort of alien fly.

"I don't know what you were worried about, all of these guys aren't creepy at all" Purple says as he watches the unnecessarily painful un-fusing process. "Yeah it wasn't those guys I was talking about…it was _**THEM**_!" the last word echoes a bit as the Irken points to a door labeled 'PAK studies'. The door opens and they enter yet another hall way. The rooms branching off of this one are filled with schematics of PAK's and PAK tools, along with some outlandish experimental ones.

The next set of rooms is a little weirder, in one a PAKless Irken sits on a chair while a bunch of other scientists watch intensely, taking notes. The Tallest watch for a few moments, at which point, the PAKless Irken jumps up and shouts "I NEEDS IT!" before grabbing his PAK from a table and reattaching it. Rejuvenated, he walks over to the other Irkens, both of which have stopwatches. The two look at each other's watches before nodding in approval, "OH YEAH! TWO MORE SECONDS!". A giant screen on the back wall starts flashing '10:23' as confetti flies through the air and the Irkens all do their own happy dance.

"and here…is the guy that makes me want to throw my PAK down a garbage chute" he laments as they come up to a door with 'Dr. Irkenstien' scrawled across it in large, menacing letters. The door opens and we see a large pillar in the middle of the room, the pillar is pulsating with electricity as an Irken at the very top of it laughs insanely. The Tallests themselves are shuddering in fear, thankfully the spectacle ends soon and the Irken does a multi-backflip off of the tall structure, landing gracefully in front of his leaders.

"AH! My Tallests! I apologize for not greeting you myself but I had to scare that Meekrob into zapping my latest creations into ghastly life!" the mad scientist declares as he guides the group towards some cages. The first cage is filled with water and houses two Irken-less PAK's moving about like jellyfish, the next has some other PAK's scuttling about on tiny crab legs. The final cage has some PAK's flying on wings and screeching as they attempt to latch onto some Vortians that were just dropped in.

"All these Irken-less PAK's are little more than drones, meant solely to enslave the local population of a planet" the crazed Irken explains as he begins to open a large door. "And while that's great and all, it's hardly what drives me, instead…THIS is my passion" the door swings open, revealing Tak, suspended in air by some nasty looking chains. There are some wires jutting out of her PAK, they are pulsating evilly with energy.

"Hey, isn't that the janitor that tried to fill Zim's planet with snacks?" Purple says as he goes back to sipping his drink. "Yep, after she was caught sabotaging that SIR competition, she was declared a Defect and shipped off to be deactivated" the mad Irken turns to a console and types something. "However this makes her the perfect subject for my greatest triumph…THE RESTORATION OF DEFECTS!" screen behind the Irken lights up, displaying all manner of Irken code and PAK diagrams.

Purple begins to choke horribly on his soft drink spewing soda droplets all over the place, Red pats his co-leader on a few time while berating the crazy scientist. "ARE YOU INSANE!? Defects can't be cured! That's why their deactivated upon discovery!" dismayed at his leaders reaction, Dr. Irkenstiens shoulders slump. "Yeah, now they are! But think of what it would mean if all Defects were capable of function! We wouldn't have to worry about rebellious shipping drones or anything like that! We'd just put the former Defects in those positions!"

As the Tallests and a clearly Defective scientist argue this out, fate is planning something horrible. Deep within the machinery holding Tak in place soda mixed with Irken spit is slowly spreading over the components. It drips and leaks all over sensitive electronics, causing short after short to compound within the machines until one droplet finds its mark, a partially stripped wire.

"…I told you this guy was creepy!" the new head scientist shouts over the massive argument that has broken out. "…No this guy's insane! You just said he was creepy" Purple shouts back at the shorter Irken. "I'm telling you! Putting cured Defects into the lowly work force would be greatly beneficial to the Empire!" the crazed Irken scientist is still trying to argue his point with Red. Red looks as if he is about to say something but then the lights in the lab flicker.

Then the machines holding Tak in place spark and then fail, her fall causing the wires to snap out of her PAK. All the scientists rush to try to repair the machines while the guards form two circles, one around the Tallests and the other around Tak. Tak snaps awake and jumps up, a guard rushes forward to try to restrain her but she leaps over his shoulders, causing his face to slam into the wall behind them. She sprints through the gap in the circle the guard just created, the two to either side of his former position try to shoot but miss and blast each other instead.

Tak runs forward into the Tallests circle, she leaps over the soldiers and lands in front of the two. They panic, making a break for the door but trip over some of their guards in the process. Taking advantage of this distraction, Tak knocks out a few more guards and then runs over to a wall. Using a random scientist as a stepping stool she leaps up and grabs hold of the outside of an air duct. Her PAK legs extend and use some sort of laser cutter to it open and then crawl inside.

From another vent she watches as one group of guards drags the crazed scientist away and another begins to escort the Tallests off the ship. Extending her PAK legs yet again Tak ascends up a vertical shaft and begins her trek through the air ducts of the massive Viral Tank. For the most part, she just wanders aimlessly not really caring where she's heading. All of a sudden, she becomes very happy and runs forward to the end of a particularly large vent, at the end of which is some sort of computer console.

Her fingers begin to fly over the console as images flash over its screen. Eventually she brings up a full ship schematic, "Let's see now, where am I?". After some more furious typing a little red dot begins flashing and the words 'you are here' flash in Irken. Some more key mashing later and Tak has found the nearest docking bay. A small gasp draws Tak's attention away from the screen, there is a service Irken in one of the side vents, she lunges for him, but it's too late, he's already out of the vent.

AIRDUCT # 42

An Irken has just finished unscrewing the grate covering the duct, he then picks up a gun and a tracking device like the one Zim had in 'The Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom'. "Are you sure you want to do this? You know how dangerous Defective can be" an Irken scientist says as he fiddles with a similar detector. "I'm sure, she's just one crazed Janitorial drone, I am a trained soldier" the first Irken says as he jumps into the vent.

He's just randomly crawling through the vents, occasionally glancing at the motion tracker. "Are you sure she's still in this area of the ship?" he asks over his alien looking walkie talkie. "We're sure, there haven't been any other sightings" the tracker begins to beep after the reply. The Irken is exited and begins to move toward the dot. He raises his gun as he begins to close in on the dot, he gets closer and closer, and then the dot is behind him.

Panicking he whirls around and fires off a few shots, but hits nothing but the inside of an air vent. Walking forward he matches the dot with is position, there's nothing here but a few scorch marks from his earlier shots. Suddenly his eyes go wide and he looks at the vertical air vent above him in time to see Tak's boot flying towards his face at full speed. The last thing the scientist hears over the talkie is a startled yelp, followed by a dull thud.

THE FIRING RANGE

A bunch of Irkens are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The scientists are collecting all the experimental guns from the somewhat disappointed testers. "Awww, why do we have to stop?" Koffa asks as the DoomShot is pulled out of his hands. "Because there's a dangerous Defective loose on the ship!" the scientist responds before he corrals Koffa away from the cart of guns. Koffa looks as if he is about to protest, but then a metallic clanging comes from the area of the cart. Everyone present turns to find Tak standing just in front of the weapons cart, underneath an airduct.

They eye the Defective nervously for a few moments, she grabs the DoomShot off of the cart and aims for the group. The Irkens take a step back and some dive for cover, Tak then whirls around and fires at the purple wall at the other end of the room. The recoil sends Tak flying into the charred, target end of the firing range. She throws herself through an exit while the other Irkens dive for cover from the fireball.

However, this fireball only fills a quarter or so of the room before it pulls back, revealing the inky blackness of space. Some of the scientists and testers make it out but the others are soon torn from the ship. Soon the entire room begins to collapse as it's pulled into the empty, soul-sucking vacuum.

THE MECH ROOM

Horrible, red warning lights flash as irritatingly frantic sirens blare. Despite all this chaos the engineers and pilots are packing the experimental mech's into overly safe looking metal crates. Suddenly, and without warning one of the engineer screams like a little girl and runs from the room. The others turn to find Tak standing at the entrance looking as if she didn't expect anyone to be in this room.

The few pilots that are still around jump into whatever happens to be the closest robot and begin shooting at her. She dodges a few missiles and energy bolts before she rolls behind a roughly human shaped robot. Taking a moment to collect herself she turns to the robots back pops a panel out and rips a few important looking wires from the mechs spine region. The robots upper torso begins to spin around like some sort of demented ice skater while its weapons discharge randomly.

Using this chaos and its explosions as a distraction Tak runs out of the door at the opposite end of the room and finds herself in a deserted hallway. She runs down the halls and turns numerous corners before she comes to the escape pod room. Throwing the door open she finds a short food service drone about to get into the last pod. However just as the door is about to shut she jumps in.

INSIDE THE POD

The pod accelerates out of its holding area so fast that the pair are slammed against the hatch. This gives them the perfect view of the Viral Tanks situation, which isn't good. On one side of the ship there is a cloud of shredded metal flying out of a hole torn in the left side pod, which is itself imploding. The acceleration lessens a bit and Tak floats over to one of the seats, she is about to strap herself in when she feels a horrible pain in one of her antenna.

"OH you horrible Defect! I'll be a HERO when I turn you in!" the food service drone has latched onto her head and his pulling on her antenna, he opens his jaw wide and then clamps down on the right one. Screeching in pain Tak slams her head into the wall repeatedly, squishing the little Irken in between her head and the wall. Eventually he lets go and Tak straps the dazed drone into a seat. She straps herself into another one when the whole pod shudders, all the flashing screens indicate that the pod has entered the atmosphere of whatever planet the Armada happened to be over at the time.

Minutes later the red hot pod is embedded in the steaming ground at the bottom of a newly formed crater. The hatch pops open and Tak jumps out, narrowly avoiding burning herself on the hot exterior of the pod. Her right antenna has several, horrible looking kinks in it from where the drone bit her, she stumbles for a bit before scrambling up the side of the crater. Peering over the rim of the crater Tak spies a large, Irken structure in the distance.

A few minutes' later Tak dives behind a large rock as a pair of Voot runners fly past in the direction of the crater. Looking over the rock, Tak estimates she has about halved the distance and is now able to tell that the building she is approaching is a prison of some sort. She resumes her trek, diving behind rocks every now and then to avoid being spotted. She is up along the base of the outer wall at this point, shuffling along she turns a corner and is excited to find a ship yard full of spacecraft just lying around, and unfortunately the entire area is surrounded by a nasty looking energy field.

A sound startles her and she flattens herself up against the wall. A few feet away a door slides open allowing some sort of hovering garbage truck out. Seeing an opportunity she begins moving once more, just as she is about to reach the door it closes. Resisting the urge to scream Tak jumps up onto the ledge above the door, activates her invisibility projector, and waits.

It is night by the time the truck arrives; it pauses before the door long enough for Tak to jump down on top of it. Hearing the whoosh of the door she flattens herself as much as she can, however it's not enough and the injured portion of her antenna brushes against the door frame. Shuddering in agony Tak stifles a scream that the prison guards don't seem to hear, feeling the truck come to a halt Tak settles down trying to overcome the pain while waiting for the others to leave.

Once she believes the room is empty she slides off the trucks roof and deactivates her invisibility. Taking stock of the parking garage she finds herself in she is dismayed at the lack of air vents for her to crawl around in. instead she goes up to the door, recalling the sounds she heard while waiting she attempts to come up with the correct sequence of beeps for the door, she fails. "Hey, is there a problem here?" the voice comes just as she is about to tear the key pad off the wall.

Turning, she finds herself face to face with a male, purple eyed guard. "Ah, yes, I'm new here and I can't seem to recall my number" she moves aside allowing the guard to type his own number. "Yeah, I remember my first day, the numbers are always so difficult" the Irken muses as he finishes typing. "so, what job did you get? Guard? Janitor? Interiga-" the Irken stops as he finds his own electro-prod jammed into his gut. "Guard" Tak says menacingly as he goes into a convulsion.

After putting on his guard outfit, Tak shoves the unconscious Irken into one of the garbage trucks and continues through the door. "Hiya Ben!" the noise greets her as she enters the guards lounge. Looking at her outfit she finds a name tag with the oddly earth-like name printed on it. Looking back up, she finds another, slightly taller Irken in a similar outfit. "hey, what's the matter? Vortian got your tongue?" the tall Irken jokes. "No, no I'm good, really…" the guard looks at her, suspicious. "Are you sure? Your voice sounds different…"

"Ummm…well-" glancing around and seeing no one else present, Tak grabs the Irkens head and slams his face into a snack machine a few times. The unconscious guard slumps over on the ground as Tak does a quick sweep of the room to make sure no one saw. Relieved that there were no witnesses Tak shoves the unconscious form into a garbage can. She then quickly examines a map before running out of the empty lounge.

"…One coming through" the Irken behind some glass kiosk says as he presses a button, letting Tak through. Tak finds herself getting more and more skittish the closer she gets to the shipyard, she is consciously weary of every guard that passes her. "Hey door drone, did ya hear what happened?" a voice behind her asks, perking her interest. "…they found that guy with the odd name, ah! Ben it was, unconscious inside a garbage truck.

"Are you sure? I just let Ben through this door not two seconds ago" the dumb door jockey says to the two other guards. Turning quickly Tak finds the two guards in question charging her, electro-prods drawn, she pulls out her own electro-prod and strikes the first in the forehead. Using his body as a spring board she leaps over the second, striking his head with the handle and knocking him flat. Ditching the guards armor she runs to the door she just came through and slides under it just as it closes.

After running for several minutes and making some guards look like incompetent boobs Tak finds herself in the actual prison area of the building. Each cell is for walls of pure energy that cast an eerie rhythmic light on the otherwise poorly lit hallway. Hearing some more guards coming Tak extends her PAK legs and squeezes through the gap between the nearest cell and the ceiling. Dropping in on the occupant, Tak clasps her hands over the Vortians mouth before he can make a sound.

The sound of the guards footsteps passes then recedes into the distance, Tak stands still for a few more seconds before releasing the Vortian. She is about climb out of the cell when a weight latches onto one of the spider legs. It's the Vortian and he has two of her PAK legs in a vice grip. "Take me with you!" the grey alien demands as she tries to shake him off. "What will you do if I don't!?"

"I'll scream for the guards!" the Vortian has somehow gotten hold of a third leg, Tak is now barely standing. "*sigh* Well we both can't fit through that gap, so what do you suggest we do?" the Vortian ponders this for a moment. Outside the cell a guard is making his rounds when all of a sudden a commotion breaks out in one of the cells. "Hey! Hey! Keep it down in there!" the guard shouts, when the noise continues he types is number into a key pad and a hole big enough for him to fit through opens in the field.

When he steps through he finds the bed and nightstand thrown about, bits and pieces of them smoldering from where they struck the cell walls. He looks around, finding no one he panics and is about to run from the cell when something falls from the ceiling and lands on top of him. Outside, another guard has grown suspicious of his comrade's absence and goes to investigate. "Hey! You know we're only allowed to beat the prisoners on Beating Day!" he says as he sticks his head into the cell, only to find an electro-prod rudely shoved in his face.

A while later, two guards step out of the cell, one of them has purple eyes and a crippled antenna, the other has some sort of visor pulled over his face. "Okay, well now that we're properly dressed…the shipyard is this way" Tak starts off in one direction, and the Vortian follows. They are about to turn down and important looking hallway when a tall Irken and four guards emerge from it, behind her, Tak hears the Vortians hushed voice. "Great Blorch! It's the Warden!"

Tak stands to attention, and her prison break partner follows suit. "At ease" the Warden says as if she's an army commander. "You're clearly new here, so I'll be the one to say it; you don't have to wear the visor all the time" she remarks as she points to the Vortian. "Ummm…it's stuck" the Warden frowns at this but then shrugs, motioning for the pair to follow her. "So what are your names, and how long have you been stationed here?"

"Tak, this is my first day sir!" Tak's anxiety rises the longer they follow her. "Ummm…Lard Nar, and eh…couple days" Lard Nar adds a "Sir!" after Tak elbows him. "Well that seems to be quite a common name, first the invader, and then there's the prisoner I'm going to interrogate…" the pair do not hear the rest as the panic and turn to leave. But it's already too late, the Warden has already typed her code in and is greeted with the sight of two half-naked, unconscious guards.

The Warden and her soldiers turn, but instead of seeing two retreating forms they see Tak charging them while Lard Nar watches in shock. Tak is quick, she punches the Warden in the face a few times before lifting the Irken over her head and tossing her over the railing of the walkway they are on. All four soldiers gasp and follow their leader over the edge, forming a chain of Irkens. "So I take it you're that Defective the guards have been chatting about?"

"Yep!" Tak says before she starts dragging the Resisty's leader back towards the main hallway. Just before they exit this level of the prison, Tak spots another keypad on the wall. Rushing over she types in Ben's code and selects every cell on the floor. As they dash out of the hall the sound of many energized cells deactivating is followed by panicked sirens. The pair blend in with the panic perfectly, save for the fact that they are running in the opposite direction.

They find a different path to the shipyard this time, this path has only one guarded door. "You have to open this door now!" Tak shouts at the door guard. However, this one is not as easily fooled as the other. "Reason?". Tak suppresses a frustrated sigh as she tries to think of an excuse, she glances over to Lard Nar for help. "The warden wishes us to inspect recently arrived ships for signs of stow aways"

"Yep, that's why we're here!" Tak attempts an innocent smile, but only ends up looking nervous. After eyeing them for a few seconds the door Irken lets them through and they walk out into a large yard full of ships, a shipyard I believe it's called. "Here, I know how to pilot this one" Tak says as she walks over to what appears to be a slightly larger version of her Spittle Runner. Popping the cockpit they also find that this one is also a two seater variety, sparing them a cramped awkward ride to wherever the hell they're going.

Just as the engines begin to whine to life the nearest door bursts open and out comes the Warden and a gaggle of guards. "STAND DOWN! TURN OFF THE SHIP!" she calls through an alien looking megaphone. "Give me those!" Tak grabs the electro-prods and fiddles with the batteries before tossing them into the group and slamming the canopy shut. Everyone outside dives for cover as the prods over heat and explode, kicking up enough dust to allow the ship time to get off the ground.

Taking no chances, Tak turns on the ships weapons systems and blasts a few of the larger ships. The resulting explosions damage most of the other ships and generate enough smoke that tracking the small ship becomes almost impossible within the atmosphere. Once out of the atmosphere the tiny ship weaves through the Armada, the few ships that do take notice are not fast enough to pursue and by the time anyone knows what's going on the ship has cleared the Armada.

On the cockpit Tak slams her fist down on a large, red button and the ship lurches forward, sending the unseated Lard Nar hurtling into the back of the cockpit.


End file.
